And How to Stop Nagging and Start Seeing Real Results

If you're like most of my clients, you're probably wondering why in the world your kid can't just pick up their clothes or wet towels off the floor when you ask them to. The constant reminders wear you out, and your frustration grows: "Why won't they just do it?"

I get it. I've been there myself. My parenting journey wasn't easy either, and I won't sugarcoat it.

The Real Problem: Fear of the Meltdown

Like many parents, I fell into the trap of wanting my kids tolikeme. Whenever I told them to do something, it felt like I was lighting a fuse, leading straight to a meltdown. So, I started making empty threats: "You're never going to Disneyland again!" Sound familiar?

Here's the kicker: I rarely followed through on those threats because I felt guilty, and let's be honest—saying "no Disneyland" was pretty unrealistic. I worried that enforcing real boundaries would hurt our relationship. But, to my surprise, the opposite happened when I finally committed to firm boundaries.

Boundaries Strengthen Relationships, Not Hurt Them

Here's what I learned: when I stopped yelling and threatening and started enforcing clear, loving boundaries, our relationship actuallygot better. My kids never said, "Thanks, Mom, for your loving boundaries that make me feel safe," but their behavior told me everything. Theytrustedme. They felt secure knowing there were limits, and that I wouldn't lose my cool.

It was a turning point for us, and I'm confident it can be for you, too.

So, What's the Solution?

Practice saying things to your children just ONE time. Now, this approach is for kids 4 and up. You might feel like you've tried everything to get your child to pick up their clothes, but I promise, this approach works:

Step 1: Stop Nagging

For the next week, practice telling your child to pick up their clothes just once. No reminders, no nagging. Simply say it one time and then go do something else. Don't hover. Walk away, let it be. This will train you to break the habit of constant reminders.*

Once you feel confident that you really can say it one time, then do the following...and this may shock you.

If your child didn't do it, instead of reminding (nagging/repeating/yelling/threatening), I want you to do the task yourself! Yes, you read that right. So, that means you're going to tell your child to do something and then walk away, give them some time to do it.

Step 2: Pick It Up Yourself—But Use It as a Teaching Moment

Now that you've mastered telling them one time, I want you to sit your child/children down with their favorite snack and ask them "do you like when I nag you?" And they are going to say, "No!" And you say, "I don't like when I nag you either. So, from now on, I'm going to tell you to do something just one time and I expect you to do it." Ask them if they have any questions.

When your child leaves clothes out (or doesn't put their backpack away or something else you've told them to do), calmly pick them up yourself. No comments, no reminders. Then, when they come to ask for something—like going out with friends or screen time—that’s your chance to enforce accountability. Say something like:
"I’d love to say yes, but in our house, we handle responsibilities first. Since I had to pick up your clothes, I can’t say yes this time. Maybe next time."

Step 3: Give Them a Clear Instruction and Follow Through Consistently

Now that you've communicated to your children what you expect, now is your time to follow through. Here’s where the real teaching happens. Once you’ve established that you’re not going to nag, it’s time to ask them to pick up their clothes and give them a set amount of time to do it, such as, “Please put your clothes in the hamper right now.” Then go do something else—don’t hover or remind them.

If they don’t do it in that time frame, calmly follow through with the consequence (needs to be the same day) you’ve already set, just like in Step 2. Consistency is key here. By doing this, you’re teaching them that in the real world, you have to manage your responsibilities on time. When your child want something, for example: "Can I watch my show now?" Just say no and when they ask you why not, you say, "When I asked you to put your clothes in the hamper, you didn't."

This process of telling once, giving them a set time, and enforcing a consequence is where the real learning happens. Kids need that consistency to understand the link between responsibility and privileges.

They'll Respect You for Holding the Line

It may take a lot of work. You might feel bad for saying no, but trust me, your kids will respect you for enforcing boundaries. And, just like I experienced, your relationship will be strengthened, not weakened. Boundaries aren't a barrier to connection—they create a foundation for it.

Why Most Parents Struggle with This

Here's the truth: a lot of parents have a hard time sticking to boundaries, especially when it means saying no to their kids. They want to; they know it's the right thing to do, but when the moment comes, they cave. If that's you, you're not alone.

The real work happens when you learn to stand firm without guilt, knowing that saying no in the short term builds respect and connection in the long term. And no nagging and yelling leads to family peace in your home.

Ready for a Change? Let's Work Together

If you've been struggling with these kinds of issues—kids not picking up their clothes, not going to bed on time, or refusing to eat what's prepared—then it's time to find the right support. Ask yourself, is the guidance you've been getting actually leading to real change? If not, it's time for a different approach.

You don't have to figure this out on your own. I'm here to help guide you through those tough moments so you can stop nagging and start seeing real results.

Book a call with me today. Let’s establish boundaries and start transforming your family dynamic for good.

*Common Sense Alert: If it involves keeping your child out of danger, (for example: not touching a hot stove or keeping close to you in a public place) then do all you can to keep them safe.

**To read more about this, read Dr. John Rosemond's "The Well Behaved Child."